The Wife went out about two weeks ago and came back with a book. A health book. A health book about losing weight. With a blender.
Every morning the house was filled with the sounds that one usually finds during Spring Break in Magueritaville. And on the third day came the announcement.
"I'm down five pounds!"
And the even more intriguing announcement.
"And I haven't been hungry."
After three decades of marriage, I knew I needed a response, something more than a grunt.
"Hey. Great. What's for dinner?"
Please note that I did not claim to have the correct response.
I retreated to the Reading Room where I spied the scale. It was a digital scale made especially for the very large. With this particular scale, I could weigh almost all of the species of forest wildlife around here and, if I were still in Iowa, over 70% of barnyard critters .
Curiosity egged me on until I finally succumbed. Stepping onto the scale, I looked down.
The LCD display said "ERR 2".
Perplexed, I hopped off, letting it reset and go blank. I hopped back on.
Then it dawned on me.
I had pegged out the fat people's scale.
I walked into the Dining/Living/Family/Computer Room where The Wife was drinking her smoothie and watching the news.
"Say, uh, can I borrow your book?"
"Kitchen table. Why the sudden interest?"
"No reason. Just...curious."
I walked the eight feet to the kitchen, pulled up a chair, and started reading.
I never knew that spinach was a beverage. Or that people actually drank it. Voluntarily.
That was two weeks ago. Finally six days ago I decided to try it. And it was a...change.
I grew up in Iowa. We had a dead animal at every meal along with some kind of potatoes and bread. Every day.
Oh, yeah. And desserts. Sugar-laden, lard-filled, and incredibly delicious desserts.
And coffee. The Elixir of Knowledge. Gallons, lakes, reservoirs full of the aromatic dark stuff.
And for the last six days?
The early morning air has been filled with the screaming growl of a blender doing unspeakable things to greens, fruits, and protein powder. And every morning it looks like "swamp-in-a-glass" with minor variations of flora...no fauna.
There's carrots, celery, fruit, and some nuts that fill in the rest of the day but for the most part it's "swamp-in-a-glass" for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
But this morning, Day 6, was kinda different. Surprisingly different.
It tasted...good. Almost normal.
The transformation is a little startling, this week-long change from carnivore to vegetarian. Where it will go after the 10-day regimen is done, I don't know.
But I hope I will not be the same guy that hopped on that scale a week ago. And I'm hoping I'll be a lesser man.
Funny. We sang about that last night at the Sturday night service.
And the Bible reading shared during worship was 2 Cor. 5:17.
Hmm. Makes sense.
I change. We all change. For better or for worse.
And we all get to choose which way it will be.
I'm being transformed by the renewing of the mind by His Word. And now - the renewing of the body by 4 1/2 more blenders of "swamp-in-a-glass".
And if "ERR 2" message shows up tomorrow morning, that's OK.
I know it's gonna change.